A Word to Young Physicists from a Madman

by Harijan

Good day, young Physicists.

How are you?  It’s nice and sunny out here in California, and I hope that it’s just as pleasant wherever you live, as you crank up the accelerator for the day.  Or, if you already left it running many months ago–as you go to your desk to watch cat videos.  I love cat videos!  No sarcasm intended at all.

That’s research sometimes.  You work very hard to set up a machine and/or program, and you must wait patiently.  Run a program, look at a cat picture.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  Well, that’s what I used to do anyways.

I don’t want to leave out my favorite of all physicists – astrophysicists!  I hope wherever you are, it’s cool and clear outside.  What do you look at nowadays?  More of the same?  Anything new?  Do you see galaxies disappear at the edge of the universe?  You know, one dude said, “Blessed are the humble, for they will inherit the earth.”  I think you’ll inherit the physics of the 21st century, if you stay humble.  Keep finding shit that other physicists can’t wrap their mind around!  Go you!

Oh, you string theorists aren’t invited.  You suck with your nonsensical, “this is the truth, but you can’t understand it.”  Truth is, you can’t understand it.  You, more than anyone else, should know:

Truth ∝ 1 / (# of Words)

Einstein explained the most fundamental principle in nature with E=MC².  Where is your algebraic formula for explaining the Grand Unified Theory of the Mystery of Existence?  Also, why do you persecute other physicists?

Oh, and all you physicists–please tell your friends to stop with all this “Philosophy-is-dead,” “Religion, theology and to some extent, philosophy, have contributed nothing to our understanding of the Universe” bullshit.  The public looks at the lot of them and think, “What an arrogant bunch of fools.”  Really, you don’t need to suffer because of what your smart, yet unwise friends are doing.

Now that I got that off my chest, I want to tell you about something I’ve been working on with light and space.  All in my mind, of course.

Remember Ole Rømer?  He postulated that light had a finite speed in 1676 with Io’s eclipses.  Then Maxwell said it’s a EM wave and propagates at ‘c’.  Then Einstein said, Shoot, let’s use light as a ruler to measure everything else by.

In fact, that’s what we do.  We measure the weight of the Universe by light.  You measure everything else by it.  How old is the Universe?  How fast are we moving away from all  other galaxies?

Well, it’s been more than a century–and we keep finding shit that we can’t explain!  What caused the Big Bang?  What caused Inflation?  What causes Accelerated Expansion?  What’s up with Dark Energy?  What’s up with all this shit that we can’t explain?  All physics did was collect observable data and try to fit them into the existing paradigm.

No, you string theorists stay out of it!  You were not invited!  Isn’t that what you tell to nonstring theory people at your super-secret-string-theorists-only meetings?   I never want to talk with any single one of you.  You can’t even tie your damn shoes.  Or lie with a straight face!  You can’t even convince yourself of the shit you feed other people.  You make me feel like I’m talking to a used car salesman.  No straight answers–never!

What was Einstein’s single greatest assumption?  That the speed of light is finite at ‘c’ in a vacuum.  And this got us quite far!  We went from Newtonian to GRT and GUT in a snap of time!

But again, assumptions build themselves on observations.  As we know, observations are limited to our perception of the Universe.  As our perception of the Universe improves, our past assumptions eventually become outdated.

For instance, what the hell is Dark Energy?  Nobody can say for sure–but some claim it’s a force that moves everything away from everyone else.  But gravitation was not a force.  It’s just another dimension to space-time that mass modulates.  So is Dark Energy–it’s not a force that pushes everything apart from every point.  The things move apart on their own, but new vacuum keeps occurring between them.

When the Universe began–BOOM!  Inflation.  New shit just started flying everywhere that used to be nowhere and between each new shit was space!  (I know a lot of you don’t think this way, but the public does, so entertain me.)  Then, it occurs again–now with expansion.

The fact of the matter: Our ideas of vacuums have become too antiquated.  You can’t just sweep it under the rug and ignore it.

We have to start thinking of space like it’s water.  Very thin water.  Almost no viscosity.  Almost no resistance to movement.  But “Almost no” isn’t quite “No,” is it?

Why is it that a photon or a mass particle can’t travel faster than ‘c’?  Well, what’s in space that keeps light from going faster?

In water, there’s a viscosity. In air, there’s a viscosity. In space, there’s a little bit of viscosity.  So what’s up with liquid helium?  What’s with the viscosity?

You know how you can explain some things in a way that fits what you’ve known in the past, but you’re just doing patch work?

I have several tears in my shoes.  I was thinking about duct taping it, but realistically, it’s going to rip more and more to the point where my shoe will be covered in duct tape.  And you can’t wash duct tape shoes.  You just can’t.

Stop putting duct tape on General Relativity!  Go back and look at the assumptions.  Those assumptions fit well to the best of our knowledge back then.  But they don’t fit anymore.

From the edge of the universe – a photon that started soon after the Big Bang, moving toward our direction, has to travel through enormous amounts of space at finite speed ‘c’.  A photon is a fast Roadrunner, but the Universe is the longest trail that continues to grow longer–so much longer that we should be able to see the faintest of galaxies drop off!  Have we found one?  (Honestly, I didn’t find much on Google, so I made the assumption that nobody’s published this paper to the point that the news media got interested.)

The vacuum is  like a 3D tectonic plate of vacuum–except it’s not vacuum, and it’s not a plate, and it’s between every single point.  You call it dark energy.  I like the name, “Vacuum synthesis.”  I think someone got shunned for his ideas on vacuum.

Say I live in the U.S., and you live in Europe.  Currently, we move away from each other because our locations moves apart from the new-1D space that just got created by the tectonic movements.  Well, Alpha Centauri and everything else moved away from us right now because new space just got created in all degrees of freedom we observe.

If we use light as a ruler with property ‘x’ in ‘vacuum,’ we can’t measure vacuum.  Space is not a passive thing, so why aren’t we messing around with it more?  We need to spend more resources, energy, intellect, and creativity in approaching vacuum.  And stop funding all that string theory research for now.  We don’t have a use for it yet.

Figure out how or if the Universe currently creates space.  It might be God making more space–in which case we’re screwed.

How does space-creation fit into supersymmetry breaking?  Go back to standard model.  Space and gravitation are more ancient than particles and the other fundamental forces.  We can’t see these things because they are the foundation upon which the particle are built.  The older it is, the closer to Truth it is.

We have plenty of stuff we gotta do.  Like going to the moon.  Drop life on unoccupied planets.  Become the race of intergalactic Johnny Appleseed.  Also, we have a very tiny window to say hello to our nearest galaxies which are flying away at a faster and faster rate–unless there’s something really, really big we’re missing.

Yes, this letter makes me a condescending narcissistic madman, but there’s truth in what I just wrote here.  We do what’s right because it is true not because who is true.  I don’t have anything to prove except the mystery of existence, and I already died once.

Thanks for listening to this mad mind.  You’ll do great things!  Let’s all go to the moon for a picnic one day!